I have a confession to make - I have really struggled this year.

I have struggled with rhythm and balance and clarity, my vision often lacking.

I have struggled to stay connected to those around me and the vibrancy of the world.

If I had to put a label on these struggles, I would label them depression.

I have allowed it to deprive me and my family of connection.

I find myself laying on the couch taking in yet another television show thinking that I could play a game with the kids or even watch an interesting documentary or movie together, that it has been some time since we gathered around the table together for our meal, or that there are things to create or to plant or even just to clean and then I continue laying on the couch with the television on.

I have allowed it to deprive me of living:

living with integrity where my choices and actions align with my ideals,

living with full joy and wonder

and sharing it with my kiddos with whom I have limited time with as they inch their way towards the full independence of adulthood.

The basic elements of this struggle are not new but have been more effectively battled in the past.  

I am usually carried along through my darker, fuzzier times by the momentum of our routine and the rhythm of the seasons and the accompanying traditions and a strong desire to live a life of wonder and joy and connectedness.

So what is different about this year?

Well, our routine and rhythm was disrupted when I slipped on the ice, injured my back and took a bit to be fully recovered.

 We also experienced a significant amount of loss this year that not only impacted my mood but also disrupted our rhythm and seasonal traditions.  My mother-in-laws funeral was the day after Easter, my grandfather's funeral was the day before Mother's Day and my grandmother's funeral was the day after Thanksgiving. (All of these funerals were about 825 miles away).  Time already passes in a weird way for me, it speeds along at an alarming rate, seemingly skipping around as if there is a wrinkle in time itself.  Our traditions anchor me, they slow down the movement of time, smooth out the fabric of time.  They also provide unique opportunities for reflection, connection and expression of joy.  Without them I feel a bit adrift. 

Also, I am certain that my hormones are shifting making me particularly vulnerable at this time.

All of this, coupled with my natural tendency to be undisciplined, has drained my energy and muddled my thinking and my inherent enthusiasm for life, love and learning has been dampened.

But this is not the way I want to live.

This is not what I want for my kids, my family, myself.

I want to bask in the light.

I want to be delighted.

I want to be filled with gratitude.

I want to be gracious.

I want to feel connected.

I want my vision to be clear and my values to be apparent.

I want joy.

I will seek light,
delight, gratitude,
graciousness,
connection, clarity
and joy!

Lifestyle of Learning 2014 Edition: Volume Twenty

The first two weeks of November...

Bishop completed several merit badges and ranked up to Star scout.  I am so proud of him.  He has vision and motivation to move towards that goal.  He accepts that he is a leader within his troop and strives to do that which will make his troop better and stronger.

A dessert competition was held at the latest Court of Honor.  Bishop brought Apple, Pear, Cranberry Cobbler and was crowned King of the Desserts!

All Hail the King of the Desserts!

Bishop and I decorated sugar skulls!
We did so, primarily, for artistic and cultural purposes.  However, as we did bury two of our beloveds this year we found setting up a small altar to be a poignant reminder of those who have gone before us and all that they have contributed to our lives and who we are.

 

History group continues to be a steady part of our lives.  We learned of the expansion of the Islamic Empire and looked at geometrical patterns that are used in Islamic art.

We also read about the Vikings, Eric the Red and Leif Ericson.

We more closely examined runes and runestones and tried our hand at them.

For some rune inspiration check out Angelic Scalliwags.

We also read of Alfred the Great.  It is said that Alfred went in to hiding and stayed with a peasant family for some time.  The woman of the family asked him to watch the oat cakes to ensure they not burn.  Distracted by his thoughts of his people he failed to watch the cakes properly and they did indeed burn.  Bishop treated the history group to some truly delicious and unburnt oat cakes.  He adapted this recipe.  They were really delicious.  We now have intentions of adding some protein to the recipe and then making these routinely as snacks for the family.

Bishop completed reading of Son of Charlemagne (great book) and made progress on his Biology studies.  Maceo made some progress on math.

We finally made it to the Passages Exhibit.  We were able to view over 400 artifacts including fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls, first edition of the King James Bible, and letters and Bibles of Luther, Tyndale and Wycliffe.  It was an incredible exhibit.  We will return soon.  Naturally we were unable to take pictures of the artifacts but I was able to photograph the interactive portions of the museum.

Bishop using a quill to transcribe a portion of the Bible.

St. Jerome.

A Gutenberg press.

Listening to Luther, Erasmus and Eck.

If you have the opportunity to visit this exhibit I highly recommend it.

Maceo has kept quite busy with his his performance endeavors.  He continues with private vocal instruction, troupe mentorship and troupe.  His troupe performed at First Friday ArtWalk.  Maceo performed a solo - Some Enchanted Evening.

The troupe also performed at the Taste of Home Expo.

He has also been quite busy viewing theatre performances throughout the community-local universities and high schools.  He has seen Violet, Godspell, and The Addams Family.

Bishop's service group has been busy assembling shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child.

They had a goal of assembling 10 shoeboxes.  This Thursday they will be delivering 16 shoeboxes!!!

I find these boys to be so inspirational, they make me want to be better, to be more curious, to set more goals, to endeavor more!

A Happy Halloween

Such a fun, family-based Halloween.

Fun decorations...

and fun food...

Bishop helped me prepare the food.  He made the mummy dogs, the googly-eyed monster shocolate spoons for our hot chocolate, and the fun foamy orange punch.

It was fun and festive!

I love family dinners and celebrations!

Happy Halloween!

Lifestyle of Learning 2014 Edition: Volume Nineteen

October 26-November 1
What a fabulous week!!!

Maceo continued with vocal instruction, troupe and troupe mentorship but most importantly he finished his opera performances.  It was such a wonderful experience for him expanding his understanding of vocal performance.

For the first time in over a year Maceo has no show that he is preparing for.  He has enjoyed a week of relaxing, decompressing

Bishop continues to remain active and engaged.

He completed another Eagle Scout required merit badge, his cooking merit badge, by preparing a trail meal for Christian and I.

He then tried his hand at making bannock and cooking it over the fire in the traditional manner.  It was yummy!

Bishop and I did some work on the backyard, trying to get it cleaned up before winter sets in, and we found this wonderful fungus.

Isn't it beautiful?!?

For history group we read about the Maori warriors of New Zealand and the Aborigines of Australia.  We then took a look at aboriginal art and attempted to replicate it.  

Bishop's service group met on Thursday and paired all the shoes that were donated - 138 pairs!

Later that evening Bishop and I delivered them to the charitable organization,SoleFood.

Those 138 pairs of shoes weighed 147 pounds and will help provide 471 meals!  Isn't that amazing?!?

Then, in lieu of nature study group, we carved pumpkins.

Then comes Halloween.  Maceo spent the day with friends filming a movie.  Bishop and I hung out and did fun halloweeny things.

We went to Sonic for 50 cent corn dogs.

 We made a fun Halloween feast, watched Megamind and passed out candy.
It was a fun evening!

Happy Halloween everyone!