Could Have Been Me

There is a song that is accompanying a plethora of reels on IG that I find motivational. The song is "Could Have Been Me" by The Struts. Most content producers are using this song to accompany reels that show them accomplishing things that they have dreamed of accomplishing, or at least, working toward making those dreams come true. And, I see why. The song moves forward powerfully, optimistically yet defiantly, and the lyrics are motivational. 

"Don't wanna live as an untold story. Rather go out in a blaze of glory. I can't hear you, I don't fear you. ... Wrapped in your regret, what a waste of blood and sweat. I wanna taste love and pain, wanna feel pride and shame. I don't wanna take my time, don't wanna waste one line. I wanna live better days, never look back and say, "Could have been me. It could have been me." ... Don't wanna live as an unsung melody. I'd rather listen to the silence telling me, "I can't hear you. I won't fear you."

It speaks of that desire to live the story we are yearning to live, dreaming of living, and not letting strictures bind us, limit us. It references the fear that we face when doing something beyond those limitations but defiantly shouts it down. I have almost done many things and at this stage in my life as I look back on those things I think, "It could have been me." There are things I still aspire to. I have dreams. Recognizing my tendency to take actions towards goals but not always seal the deal, I want to set myself up to REALLY succeed, to accomplish those dreams. I want my story to be told in it's full glory.

So, what do I imagine my story should entail? What it would mean for me to 'go out in a blaze of glory.'? I have images that flit through my mind as that song plays, moving like a reel on IG, that represent my 'blaze of glory'. Those images are representative of the following glorious things:

*Defeat the 'hoard.' 

I want to strip back all the layers of belongings leaving only those which contribute the most to my life. I want to get in right relationship with my material possessions and make space for the people and things that mean the most to me. I desire to simplify and, by that, I mean not be bound to these possessions. I want to make them serve me, not me enslaved to them. I want to be free.

*Be debt free. 

I want to eliminate my debt; ideally, this would include my mortgage but I'll consider it 'glory' if all other debt is conquered. Again, I want to be free; not bound to others. I want to stop limiting my options because I have committed myself to others through these obligations. Yes, I want to be free.

*Take my EPIC American road trip.

I want to see things, do things, experience things, and learn things. I want to meet new people and idea; I want to be challenged. This, again, symbolizes freedom to me, in many ways. I can feel the sun on my face and the wind rushing through my hair just thinking about road tripping. Yes, freedom, in many ways.

*Be strong.

I want to reduce the limitations of my body by strengthening it. This will open up possibilities of all that I can do, experience, and learn. It will free me from the bondage of physical pain. It will honor me and my journey and all that my body has done for me during this journey of life. It will honor my Maker who gifted me this vessel that has served me so well.

I want my story to be one of conquering challenges and overcoming obstacles that interfere with that earthly sense of freedom. I want to sing my song, tell my story. I want to fight the good fight moving closer to my vision of freedom and a life well-lived. I want to experience the pain and the shame but not be mired down by it. I want to revel in the experiences of love and the satisfaction of a job well done.

I don't want to be saying "Could have been me" so I will change all these expressed "I want's" into "I will" and then, through consistent focused action, "I have." I will face the pain and shame and fear that is sure to accompany this journey boldly, defiantly. I will live my unique story and sing my distinctive song!